Don’t let one role define you

Lately, I am seeing a lot women who have defined themselves by one role, be it a wife, a mom, a professional, a daughter. I know we do it out of love for our relations but it also shows a little bit of co-dependence, as if we don’t know who we are without these labels.

Ladies we are born with the superpower of multi-tasking so why not own it.

I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a doctor, a wife, a friend, an avid book reader, a binge watcher, a traveler, a sleep addict and a mom. Life does not let us pick and choose our responsibilities so why not proudly own all the labels. I am nowhere remotely close to being perfect in any of these roles but a little of all this make a whole of me.

I love our baby and as much as I am proud of being a mom to our adorable munchkin I am equally proud of being my parent’s daughter, my husband’s wife and most of all a doctor.

Why a doctor? Because I have been blessed enough to know the feeling of helping someone.

Because I appreciate the effort my parents invested in me to make me a person who like them will appreciate prayers over anything else.

I should mention here that my parents and doctors too in a small town where there was no major hospital when they got there and most of the patients can not afford to travel to another city. My parents for half of their lives have dedicated their lives to these people and my dad’s favorite moment is when a patient visits him fully recovered. It means so much more to him than anything else.

Back to myself, so why doctor… because I have felt the helplessness when a kid is dying and you know you cannot save them. Everything that can be done has been done but still, you feel the weight of every patient you had to see pass away stay with you for life. It humbles you and at the same time makes you more empathetic, hence a better person. Again I am nowhere a perfect doctor, I am immensely enjoying my time off with my baby because I know today is the youngest she is ever going to be.

I know a lot of women who are crucified for choosing career over kids and shamed by feminists for choosing kids over a career.

Please people, First of all, let everyone be who they are, the choice is so hard and I am proud of women who do make it.

And if they are able to do both and more at the same time without being perfect then please don’t criticise them for doing a job half well done. They are trying to maintain their identity which they have a right to.

As much as I love being Arya’s mom, it once made me afraid, it made me feel I’ll lose my identity to just being Arya’s mom. And it does and it takes a lot of effort to remind myself that I have other roles as well and they all equally define me. I am not a perfect mom, instead of preparing food from scratch like a perfect mom I sometimes buy ready-made food, I am unable to make a video of her every milestone but what I do is make sure my baby is happy and loved and that is possible when I am happy and not discontent. Listen to the truth mom Kristina Kuzmic and take a bubble bath. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect. My house may be a mess but as long as we are happy it doesn’t matter. Priorities 😁

I try to take out time from being a mom, a wife and a doctor for myself.

I still try to read novels, binge watch tv, and travel. My friend asked me why haven’t I changed after getting married and now after a baby it amazes them even more. But why should I have changed?

My husband and my kid are my life but these other things are also what make me who I am.


Posted by:Sana

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